Something is slowly—
softly—
killing me;
and I'm okay—It's okay to say:
I'm dying today—
my worries,
my cares,
ebb softly—
slowly—
away.I left bereft—
the other day;
let myself
stray—
appalled;
I went astray:
I left myself;
at the doorway—
it opened up;
the gulf above.Everything was;
in all ways
the same—
it always is
in every way:
a strain—
the pain;we complain:
but reality is—
is never the same—nothing stays;
not ever is plain—except that all—
and all of this—not just Bob, my uncle,
and Auntie Jane—
and Rob's my Father's brother's complaint;
and "pick up the phone"—
"you cow of a kid!"—
"you stain on our minds"
"your Mother's a saint";
and what about Jane?and everything is—
as plain as can be:it’s not our sight
that lets us be.It’s being in light
with eyes that hear;
and ears awake
upon the floor.I fell aground;
asleep at a word—
adoring his voice;
in soundings of birth.I know I snore—
well, so I’m told
(that is, if I turn to look
back through the door):the old grow small,
though young are born.And I won't stay—
not anymore;
I don't stand around—
this open doorway—ignorance persists;
is a pretense—
an abhorrence
I no longer ignore.That’s the thing—
I forgot to say—
and pray:the betrayal,
it was the way—Judas;
the slave.
Judah;
depraved.
Jesus;
the slain.It's not easy,
being green—
It’s easy
being a ball—
the free-for-all;
the free fall:
without a ground—find one thing:
"Is it fine?"
and you're found;
found out.A floating floor—
(all is flat all round)—I abhor:
it's loathsome;
it's a lure.Below allure
is what I adore—
to be sure—
behind the door—I'm not afloat;
on open lies—
I lie open.It's open;
Who is.
Go in.
I do.And really—
see clearly;
it is written
to be heard.You protest?
I confess—
unless, of course,
you’re not hearing.I understand.
You want to stand.
There on sand,
that sinks in the hand.I won't worry—
not anymore;I am floored.
I am through.Through the door;
I am within—Things are killing
what began within:Myself;
is where it begins—slowly,
it softly,
is living in me.And worry,
and more;
I left it all,
at the door.
